E-lance connects freelancers with paying jobs.

The problem, for freelancers, is getting noticed by generous employers.

There are plenty of tricks and tips involved in making your e-lance profile pretty, findable, and reputable. I won’t get into those. If you can use Facebook, you can figure them out.

What I’m interested in is how to write a proposal on e-lance that sticks out and demands a response.

Here are some the things I have done that always get a response and often lead to a job offer.

1. I pretend like I’m doing the hiring: E-lance employers know what they are talking about. Most of the time they just need someone to plug the holes in there small business. They know exactly what they want and aren’t interested in big ideas, general advice, and future plans. Promise them a solution and a schedule. Nothing else. Employers aren’t on e-lance to make friends and hire long-term employees. They don’t even know if it’s worth it to hire part-time help. Be friendly, but not pushy.

2. Give examples: Don’t just say you want to do the job. Write or design a sample of what you will do. It doesn’t have to be huge, detailed, or on the right track–just a proof of concept. Don’t be like everyone else and cut and paste a general intro. It’s boring, it takes no creativity, and it’s a waste of time.

3. Ask Questions: Personally, I hate asking questions. They are hard to phrase and you never know if you come off like a distracted third grader. Still, my experience has shown that people love answering them. It’s a great way to start a conversation. Obviously, avoid stupid questions and ones that make you look lazy. You know, like: “When’s the lunch break?”

4. Honesty: I often apply to jobs that I am under qualified for. I admit that I’m not their ideal candidate and make a case for why I still might be able to help. I argue that I will be more excited and eager to tackle the job to gain experience. It’s true. But the bigger truth is that I will work harder for less if the job is attractive. There is no point hiding it. The businesses you want to work for know how business works so don’t be shy.

In life, I want to write. I need to by funny. I want to be a cross between Wodehouse, Twain, Vonnegut, and wee bit of Balzac. I want nothing less.

Now, I simply need a plot. A rip-roaring story. Something that I can attach my perspiration and dedication too. Do you have any ideas, oh mind of mine?

No, you really don’t. I come up with half-formed starts and not much more. I’ll devise a plot that has so much going for it until, when I look at it the next day, it appears remarkably lame, troubled, and remarkably unintelligent.

Read the rest of this article »

Hesitation, pretension, and lack of confidence get in the way of good writing. No one likes to read something written by a guy who never gets to a point or by someone who is a know-it-all bore. The trick to writing is to make sure you are honest, direct, and simple. The following essays help writers do exactly that.

1. George Orwell, Politics and The American Language. Essential reading.

2. Strunk & White’s The Elements of Style is over 50 years old, but it  reads like it was printed last week . E.B. White’s concluding remarks, in the chapter called, An Approach to Style, are particularly good. Find the 4th Edition of the book here, for free.

3. William Zinsser, author of On Writing Well, explains the simple truths behind good writing: Writing English As a Second Language.

4. Lester Dent, pulp master, explains the art of writing of a good story. His advice can also inform article and copy writing. Pulp Paper Master Fiction Plot.

5. I wish Hemingway’s book, On Writing, was online and free, but it’s not. You’ll just have to buy it. But these articles explain some of the main points Hemingway preached: Hemingway Productivity & 5 Tips For Writing Well & (most importantly) Hemingway on When to Stop Writing.

6. Kurt Vonnegut lays out 8 steps for writers. All wise. Here is his answer to the question: can writing be taught?

Bonus:  29 famous authors explain their ‘10 Rules For Writing Fiction‘

Today’s post can be found here.

I stumbled onto Kickstarter last night and was impressed. The concept is simple: make a video and ask for money to fund your new project. If you get the amount of money you asked for you are compelled to complete your idea in order to make your new backers happy. The interesting thing is Kickstarter seems to have a pretty generous, risk-tolerant, community of backers and angel-investors greasing the wheels of generation Y creativity.

Of course the first thing I thought after wandering around the site for awhile was, “What video can I make?” Or, in truer words, “How can I get some loaded internet pawns to hand over a few thousand dollars so I can complete deceivingly creative, but ultimately, easy project?” I thought hard for a few minutes and was thoroughly disappointed with the results.  A few blog posts a week wouldn’t cut it.

So, I looked around the site for inspiration and to see who was getting the most money. I quickly found projects that were smart, creative, and entertaining. They produced the familiar I-could-have-done-that-if-I-wanted-to-feeling that you usually run into at modern art shows. Of course, I didn’t and I couldn’t have. These were good, impassioned, thought-out pleas. Realistically, it would take me over 100 takes to find a video greeting that i didn’t find too stuck up or cheesy. Read the rest of this article »

I can’t imagine waking up, jump-starting my computer, and heading over to Marriot Hotel’s corporate blog. Or Dell’s or Amazon’s or even Google’s. But we live in a crazy world and, if we’re to believe the Technorati  blog-rankings and the breathless blog posts entitled, “Best corporate Blogs that kept me up all night”, some people actually read, follow, and enjoy corporate blogs.

Keep in mind: we’re not talking about small business blogs. They serve a purpose. They help smaller companies define themselves without shelling out cash for advertising. We’re talking about blogs from corporations that already have an established presences and national definition. They are so big that they don’t need a “Top 10 Pro Tip” blog post to convert people into customers.

At first, I immediately deduce that corporate blog readers must be the same people who enjoy wearing fanny-packs while speculating on Spiderman story arcs in public. Read the rest of this article »

Search Engine Optimization (SEO), the mystic art of marketing your website, is insanely popular. I occasionally take jobs on elance and I work for a number of blogs and the first question everyone asks is, “Can you do SEO?”

Everyone who has ever used Google assumes that with a few cleverly placed keywords they can become the owners of the next blog-turned-household name.

It’s not there fault. There’s a ton of SEO books, blogs, ebooks, newsletters, email lists, classes, and promotional pamphlets that convince people of just that. They promise “crazy traffic” after you master a few “SEO pro tricks.”

What are they exactly? In real terms SEO is just smart outlining and indexing. You have to build your websites table of context and index in the appropriate places. The words you use, excuse me, the keywords you use, must be words people are likely to look up while defining exactly what your site is about. Next, the words have to target a niche that isn’t already drowning in competition. Read the rest of this article »

It’s been years since I’ve dealt with a soccer ball at my feet. This weekend, that all changed. I got a chance to play in a soccer pick-up game for a few hours.

I was an integral force on my 8 player team. Our average age was probably 38, but our spirit was young, energetic and liked to curse a lot. During the breaks we’d gasp for more air and comment on international soccer news and our fondness for beautiful women. During our breaking runs, we’d let each other down with amateur passes, poor positioning, and general cluelessness.

All told, there were 3 pretty serious injuries and a handful of minor ones. It seemed to be a pretty light load. The 40-ish year old knee is a weak creature and produces a horrible yell Read the rest of this article »

Excerpt from a local campaign speech

In our town’s long and ceremonious past, nothing has made me more jealous than younger people enjoying more success than myself. They may have committed themselves to grueling work schedule, stuck-to-it longer and generally been smarter, but they still piss me off.

The rank of people who are successful and older, well they are OK. They’ve had more time to achieve their reputation and standing than I did. So I can’t morally get mad at them, can I?

This brings me to a larger point. Why aren’t we talking about people who have loud and annoying laughs? They ruin every outing, movie, picnic, or social gathering I can think of. If I was elected, I’d have them rounded up and sent to Read the rest of this article »

Chelsea is home to 100 or so art galleries. Each gallery, on average, stocks around 4 to 6 pieces of artwork on any given day. Each gallery has a handful of major shows every year (I think we’re supposed to call them openings). They are staffed by an art dealer and a cadre of female interns.  I wasn’t allowed to look at any of the galleries books for this expose, but we can assume from their infestation of Chelsea and other lower Manhattan neighborhoods that they make as much money as your local Subway Franchise.

That the number of lower Manhattan galleries roughly equals the number of Manhattan based Subway sandwich shops points us in an interesting direction. It seems the business of modern art is being franchised by a group of entrepreneurial souls who enjoy the way deconstructionism rolls of the tongue and can’t get enough of squared framed glasses. Read the rest of this article »